Catfish Is Really Delicious, and Other Truths


You know what sucks? Redundant speech. And you know who are the worst grammatical offenders of this type? Sportscasters. One cannot watch 15 minutes of sports commentary without some jarhead saying that some team or other "answered back."
Everyone involved with American football is so, so dumb. Don't get me wrong, I love football.  But man are they stupid. Last week Mark Schlereth said that no "one single individual" has accumulated as many touchdowns... (or something like that). That's a double-down redundancy, from a guy who gets paid a lot of money to communicate with people. The only way you could achieve less effective brain function is if your medulla actually stopped triggering involuntary mechanisms like your heart.
Magic Johnson literally cannot form a single sentence, but that's basketball so it doesn't count.
I played football in school in 6th grade. Everyone was really dumb, and most of them were dicks.
I wish the Philadelphia Eagles didn't suck so much, and that I had some fried catfish and collard greens with pig meat in them to eat right now. I loooooove fried catfish and collard greens with pig meat in them.
In summary, you should mute the TV when a guy comes on with a really thick neck, cuz he's gonna say something stupid and make you angry. Also, never play American football because it will make you super dumb.


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