Life Would (Presumably) Be Easier If I Just Had a Pussy


There is just SO much I want to tell the world about my underwear. The boxer-brief-bikini saga continues, and I have no idea where it will end. Today it isn't so hot out, so I put on boxer briefs, and they are making a solid case so far that I should come back to them. But those little funny-looking ball-sling style underwear (which I don't know what to call, and which I bought accidentally, setting this all in motion) have given me such succor in the heat.
And I just finally got to the point where I don't wanna laugh when I look at myself in the mirror. In fact, I kinda like the way I look in them. I've even been hoping recently that Speedos would come into style so I don't have to wear those awful, baggy, chaffing swimming trunks 5 days a week. Those things suck (except now I kinda like the "inter-netting" cuz of my new-found fascination with cradling), and for some reason I can't find them with sufficiently psychedelic patterns on them anymore.


My best guess is that it will turn out to be a seasonal thing (like how I drink only cold brew coffee when it's over 70 degrees, and absolutely cannot touch any hot soup or beverage, ever, in summer). BUT, today's chapter alone still has so much to teach me. Will I miss the cradling comfort, even absent the unwelcome moisture? Or will the pendulous freedom re-seduce me, as it did for over 3 decades?
If underwear were cognizant beings, would my boxers be angry at me right now? Would they miss my balls, in the same way I would if I were castrated?


And how is it possible that the tiny, close-quarters underwear get way, way less funky than the loose ones? It's true. I'd never wear them for more than a day, but even if I did they could be used as dinner napkins by born-again Christians, and they'd never suspect a thing. They come off fresher than when they still had the dryer-sheet smell in them. Incredible.

Actually, I'm changing back right now. It's scary out there in the world, and I need to be held. (Was that me typing, or them?)

I promise to keep you posted. If I wasn't such a technotard, I'd mount a webcam and some science stuff to my dick so you could keep closer tabs. Really I should post photos of me in each style of underwear, but I don't have the balls for that.

They're hiding right now.


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