Since 2004, Portland's Only Bar Trivia That Matters.
I don't mean to be an alarmist, but everything is going to be just fine.
Some of my friends (as always) seem convinced that we live in the the most dire of ages. We do not.
I really hate to burst whatever short-sighted bubble you're working on inflating, but we got it pretty fuckin' good these days. Also, there is no scenario within the realm of science that can stop the march of intelligent life on this planet. We may yet see some massive setbacks, but none of that shit adds up, scientifically, to extinction for humanity.
Of course I want every nuclear warhead to be dismantled, today. But even if they all exploded tomorrow, it would not stop the inevitable biological and intellectual evolution of life on this planet.
So, given the relative comfort we enjoy at the moment, I just ask that we all take a breath here. Just please stop telling me how totally fucked we all are, dear friend. Because we just totally, absolutely, are not.
We've actually come a long way, in an incredibly short period of time. A millionth of a blink of Earth's eye ago, feudalism was the best we could hope for. A half-century ago, you could still proudly hang a sign in your window that read "Whites Only". Only 43 years ago, the American Psychiatric Association listed homosexuality as a "mental disorder". Only 37 years ago, the ERA was ultimately defeated (but that actually works against my argument, so chin-up).
Anyway, here's my PSA, I guess:
Don't let your few years of insight convince you how goddamn nigh the end is, when really you're just a tiny, proud part of a species that's millions of years in the making. I promise you - the "end" is very, extremely far from nigh.
I believe, by math alone, that there are countless billions of other planets full of other extremely intelligent "people" of some sort or other, who are at this moment struggling and loving, and "writing" and making "music", and pondering their very existence.
And some of them, just like me, are thinking mostly about "pussy" right now. And I'm also quite sure that some of our kind, a very long time from now, will meet some of theirs.
I also reckon that, in a billion years, when this planet is still going strong (shortly before it dies from the solidification of its outer core), whatever sorts of freaky fuckers that inhabit it will finally be able to speak accurately about the end of the world.
Until then, suck it up - because the world actually sort of rules.